The Time Travel Handbook Read online

  ACCOMMODATION

  As you make way down to the English camp you will be able to see that the pavilions are all trimmed with fixed and painted wooden boards, the grandest with skirting and flooring too. Tudor roses and Beaufort portcullis arms are much in evidence. Do look up, though; on top of the masts that hold up the tents there is a menagerie of beautifully carved heraldic beasts, including dragons, griffins and greyhounds, lions, stags and antelopes.

  Your host for the next fortnight or so is SIR ADRIAN FORTESCUE and you will be looking for his pavilion, marked with the Fortescue coat of arms: a blue shield with a white diagonal stripe and wavy edges, paralleled by two gold diagonal lines, or, in the Latin heraldic vernacular, azure a bend engrailed argent cotised or.

  Sir Adrian, a knight of the bath with land holdings in Hertfordshire is recently widowed and will be in deep mourning for much of the next fi ve years. Thus distracted, he will, as long as he is not directly approached, barely notice your presence in the pavilion. Please stick rigidly to using the SMALL CIRCULAR TENT at the far end of the Fortescue pavilion. Note the Fortescue livery, here for your use, will get you into the banqueting halls, but do not expect a seat. The slop buckets are strictly your responsibility.

  THE KING’S PALACE

  HENRY’S PALACE at Guines, a hundred yards square, consists of four blocks round an atrium courtyard. The buildings have stone foundations, brick walls to eight feet high, then wattle and daub with clerestory windows, and an Italianate wooden cornice decorated with cross and leaf work. Above this, large timbers form a frame over which vast decorated canvas sheets are hung. The building has been completed in under three months by thousands of skilled artisans using timber and prepared wall sections from England, glass from Flanders and cloth from all over Western Europe.

  As you walk up to the ornate mock guardhouse at the front of the palace, note the splendid FOUNTAIN with its depiction of Bacchus carved from wood. On feast and banquet days this will be running with two streams of wine – one red, one white – pumped under pressure. Earthenware vessels will be available to help yourself; you won’t be alone. The gatehouse itself is adorned with a statue of SAINT MICHAEL, a deliberate compliment to France’s patron saint of chivalry.

  Once inside the palace in the main quadrangle, you will see two sets of very ornate pavilions on either side; to your left are CARDINAL WOLSEY’S QUARTERS; to the right are those of the King’s sister MARY, Duchess of Suffolk. Behind these pavilions are two long brick-walled building: on the left-hand side HENRY’S APARTMENTS and on the right those of QUEEN CATHERINE. The two are connected by an UNDERGROUND PASSAGE, while Henry’s apartments have their very own box-tree-planted corridor leading back into Guines Castle. These tents will be closely guarded and difficult to enter, but should you get a glimpse inside look out for Catherine’s set of nine floral tapestries stitched in gold and silk. In Wolsey’s main waiting chamber you can observe sumptuous TAPESTRY work, rumoured to include a set depicting the TRIUMPH OF PETRARCH. Even from outside you will smell the sweet aroma of freshly cut rushes and flowers that fill the Royal Apartments.

  Immediately opposite the entrance, and the building you are most likely to gain access to, is the LARGE HALL. A two-storey building, the ground floor will be a hive of activity at almost any time, housing the offices of the Lord Chamberlain, Lord Steward and Treasure Comptroller – the three most senior positions in the Royal Household. It also provides space for the royal service departments, including the warehouse and jewel house, the pantry, spicery, buttery, ewery (responsible for water and the vessels one drinks from and washes with), poultry, pitcher and larder. The upper floor is reached by an internal staircase over which hovers a sculpture of an armoured footsoldier. Inside the BANQUETING HALL look up at the canvas roof, whose intricate decoration includes the popular if enigmatic homilies of ALEXANDER BARCLAY. He is currently a theological favourite at court, and the Benedictine monk’s satirical poem, The Ship of Fools, published in 1513, is a good ice-breaker in conversation in 1520.

  A short gallery leads out of the back of the Large Hall and into the PALACE CHAPEL. This large open space is decorated with gold and silver and overlooked by the two royal oratories, on the first floor; known as HOLYDAY CLOSETS, they are the box seats for the royal houses. The altar will be set with golden candlesticks and a fabulous pearl-encrusted crucifix over four foot high. Note that the English have brought their own church organ with them. Mass is held daily.

  EATING AND DRINKING

  Catering at the Field of the Cloth of Gold is a very stratified affir. While you may be able to gain entrance to some of the major BANQUETS to be held over the fortnight, you will for the most part be eating in the FORTESCUE PAVILION. For proper nobles and their households most meals will be self-catered. Expect a lot of pottage, broth and tough black bread. Keep your ears open as there will be a certain number of meals communally provided for gentleman and perhaps their staff. Camp followers, beggars, lepers and locals trying their luck will be ever present around the camp’s kitchens.

  Water is strictly for washing in. The main drink available in the English camp is ale, thrice-brewed in ever declining quality. The third brew called SMALL BEER is the least alcoholic of the ales and consumed by servants and children. Wine, as noted previously, will be freely available on feast days but harder to come by at other times.

  You will observe at the banquets that courses consist of a multitude of DISHES, both savoury and sweet. There will be a great deal of poultry, game birds, baked and steamed fish, pies and potted animals and above all roast meats. Exotic birds, such as swans, may well be served and even reconstituted after cooking with head, neck and feather to create an edible sculpture. The English court’s account will later record that 6,475 birds of various kinds were purchased and nearly 100,000 eggs, not to mention 3,406 sheep and lambs, 842 veal calves and 373 oxen.

  THE FRENCH CAMP

  It would be a considerable breach of protocol for lowly members of Sir Adrian Fortescue’s household to enter the FRENCH CAMP and we advise you strongly not to. However, from a safe distance it is perfectly fine to take in the view. The French court will have made camp in the small town of ARDRES, five miles east and slightly south of the English camp and reached by the same road on which you arrived. You will see that the King’s orders to build a vast ditch around the encampment and to repair the town’s walls have been accomplished and the two together mark out a camp site filled with nearly 400 pavilions and a considerable swathe of the French peerage and nobility.

  FRANCIS I BY JEAN CLOUET – AT AROUND THE TIME OF THE KINGS’ MEET. THE MEDALLION IS SAINT MICHEL. THE DRESS IS CLASSIC RENAISSANCE.

  The KING’S APARTMENT should just be visible on the west side of the town, where a whole series of town houses have been combined with large pavilions to create his temporary palace. Of particular note is the huge BANQUETING HOUSE at the foot of the town connected by a long gallery to the palace. The English knight Edmund Hall will describe it as ‘house of solas and sporte, of large and mightie compass’. Built like a multistorey amphitheatre, with three levels of stone wall, the interior is lined with balconies and, as Hall will report, decorated with ‘frettes and knottes made of Ive buishes and other thynges that longest would be grene for pleasure’. The canvas roof is set with golden stars.

  The transformation of Ardres has been overseen by the Marshal of France, GASPARD DE COLIGNY, and Grand Master of the Royal Artillery, JACQUES DIT GALIOT DE GENOUILLAC, whose logistical triumphs in the past include shipping the French cannon across the Alps and winning a great victory at Milan in 1513. Most of the work on the camp has been done in Tours, over 300 miles away, where the local textile industries have provided enough skilled labour to service the enormous order from the French court. For over three months thousands of cloth, silk and leather workers have been stitching and assembling the camp’s pavilions, working in shift around the clock in the palace of the Archbishop of Tours. Among the most eye-catching of these is the main ten
t of the Royal Household, draped in golden cloth with three wide stripes of blue velvet, themselves encrusted with golden fleurs-de-lis. Atop this, balanced on a golden ball you should be able to make out a six-foot-high gold and blue wooden statue of Saint Michael holding a lance and shield, a slain serpent at his feet. Many of the other tents in the encampment feature a large golden apple carved from walnut instead. Queen Claude’s pavilion, close by can be picked out for its lighter, brighter golden cloth. The Queen Mother’s tents feature violet and crimson material.

  DAY BY DAY

  THURSDAY 8 JUNE: THE KING’S MEET

  You should arrive mid-morning on Thursday, when preparations in the camp will be at fever pitch as horses are brushed and tack polished amid an air of nervous, growing anticipation. At around 5pm you will hear three cannons, signalling the departure of Henry’s entourage to THE KINGS’ MEET. Soon after this the distant sound of three cannons being fired in Ardres announces that Francis and his party are on their way.

  HENRY VIII ARRIVES AT THE ENGLISH CAMP. NOTE THE ROYAL PALACE AND WINE FOUNTAIN ON THE RIGHT, TOURNAMENT FIELD (TOP RIGHT) AND THE DRAGON WHICH WILL APPEAR AT MASS ON THE FINAL DAY.

  Henry’s entourage will be led out by one hundred archers drawn from the Royal Guard and Wolsey’s personal guard. They will be followed on horse by a large retinue of household gentlemen and knights. SIR ADRIAN FORTESCUE, if he manages to make it, will be in with this pack. Then you will see the senior nobility, and in their midst the King. HENRY will be preceded by the MARQUESS OF DORSET holding upright the sword of state; to his left CARDINAL WOLSEY in brilliant crimson red silk; to his right SIR HENRY GUILDFORD, Master of Horse, leading a spare mount for the King. The King’s back is covered by a dozen young henchmen and hunting mates and then another tranche of senior nobles escorting bishops and foreign ambassadors. Finally come musicians and stewards: twelve mace-bearers, twelve trumpeters, then twelve heralds, all in Tudor livery. Expect plenty of MUSIC en route.

  Francis’s entourage will be similar if smaller. We strongly advise that you observe them at the meeting point – the Vale of Arden – rather than at the French camp or on the road. You will see two hundred mounted archers of the Royal Guard dressed in golden coats heading the cavalcade, followed by two hundred gentlemen of the royal household, and a hundred Swiss Guards on foot. Twelve trumpeters then precede the major nobles of France: the DUC DE BOURBON, ADMIRAL BONNIVET and KING FRANCIS himself. The man next to him holding the French sword of state in a sheath of blue velvet covered with golden fleurs-de-lis is GALEAZZO DA SAN SEVERINO, Master of Horse. Behind them will come the DUKES OF LORRAINE, ALENÇON AND VENDÔME, all the Cardinals of France, and the Knights of the Order of Saint Michel.

  As the English caravan leaves its camp it will suddenly be joined by an enormous phalanx of INFANTRY, including the entirety of the ROYAL GUARD all decked out in Tudor livery adorned with golden roses. They will take up positions at the front and back of the entourage as well as forming up on the King’s flanks in a parade now 4,000 strong. You may well note a certain amount of toing and froing as scouts are sent off to check the progress of the French, while French scouts scurry back to report to their masters. On at least one occasion the whole troupe will come to a halt as the King and his counsellors discuss whether it is safe to proceed. However, by around seven o’clock you should be entering into the VALE OF ANDREN, where the two entourages will take up positions opposite each other on raised earthen mounds.

  The music will now fall silent as the two sides come to a silent halt. Look for King Francis to make the first move, shuffling his horse forward a couple of steps, followed by his three main attendants. Henry with Sir Henry Guildford, the Earl of Worcester, Sir Richard Wingate (ambassador to the French court) and of course CARDINAL WOLSEY. Note, Wingate is wearing a splendid brocade cloak given to him by Francis. It is, as you will see, no match for the KING’S OWN OUTFITS. Henry will be dressed in a silver doublet and cloak slashed with gold and hung with jewels. Around his neck you will see the Order of the Garter and a huge Saint George pendant, all topped by a black hat and plume. Francis is dressed in the currently fashionable latticework jerkin called a chammer combining gold, silver and gems set off by white leather riding boots and, like Henry, a black bejewelled velvet cap.

  A sudden blast of the sackbuts will see both Kings’ companions halt as the monarchs ride on to the appointed meeting place – a spear stuck in the ground. Both entourages will cheer lustily as the Kings doff their hats and then, still on horseback, embrace. They will suddenly be joined by running footmen who will accompany them arm-in-arm as they disappear into a small tent. While the kings are within you will notice that the English entourage does not break ranks and remains on the mound. The French, however, will become curious and drift over to the English side for slightly awkward conversations. After about an hour the Kings will reappear and there will be a great deal of hugging and embracing of each other’s companions before a worried-looking Wolsey calls a halt to proceedings and both sides return to camp before sunset.

  FRIDAY 9 JUNE: THE TREE OF HONOUR

  The TOURNAMENT proper will begin with the hanging of shields on the TREE OF HONOUR. Located on the edge of the tournament field, the tree is made from entwined branches of hybrid raspberry and hawthorn, symbolising the new links between France and England. The whole thing is fixed to a stone column and surrounded by wooden railings. At about half past nine, the two kings, sixty noblemen and sixty guards, drawn from both camps, will be meeting at the tree to HANG SHIELDS.

  Pride of place, acknowledging that the field is on English soil, will be going to Francis, whose shield is the first to be hung; Henry’s will follow to his right. The shields of fourteen nobles who issue the tournament challenge to all-comers will be added below. Finally, three shields will be added to the lower branches to signify the three components of the tournament to come: a GREY AND BLACK SHIELD for jousting, GOLD AND TAWNY for the tourney and SILVER for foot combat. Over the next couple of hours, the CHALLENGERS IN THE TOURNAMENT will come to the Tree, touch the three shields and place their own shields on the railings. Eventually there will be over 200 challengers and their coats of arms.

  SUNDAY 11 JUNE: BRING ON THE BANQUETS

  At some point in mid-afternoon the sound of CANNON will signal Henry’s departure for the French camp and Francis setting out for the English camp. They will meet briefly at the field before being received by each other’s QUEENS. If you are able to slip into the BANQUET you will find that the monarchs have their own dining zone (not to be entered), while the rest of the hall has been divided into two by a hanging wall of tapestries.

  On one side, over a hundred LADIES OF THE ENGLISH COURT will dine, attended by twenty gentlemen who hover but do not eat. On the other side the leading French nobles DUC DE BOURBON and ADMIRAL BONNIVET dine with their entourage. After dinner there will be DANCING to music from tabors, pipes and viols, with a guest spot for Francis’s own band of FIFES AND TROMBONES who will be laying down a dance ‘in the Italian style’. The key feature of this dance is that, unlike most court masques, the dancers call upon members of the audience to join them.

  MONDAY 12 JUNE: JOUSTING BEGINS

  On Monday morning much of the English camp will be making its way to the FIELD OF THE CLOTH OF GOLD (as it is not yet known). Located just inside the Pais de Calais, midway between Guines and Ardres, the field is 900 feet long and 300 foot wide, enclosed by an eight-foot ditch which in turn has created a high earthen bulwark. Within, the field is marked by wooden railing and posts. Both ends of the field are entered through temporary TRIUMPHAL ARCHES and at the Guines end this is flanked by two sturdy ARMING CHAMBERS for the two monarchs. The Tree of Honour can be seen at the Ardres end just beyond the arch. On the left of the field is the just completed QUEEN’S PAVILION, from which the Royal Households and senior peerage will be watching the day’s events; on its right is a somewhat rickety three-storey pavilion for everyone else. Henry has asked for a further deep ditch to be
dug in front of it to prevent incursions from the stands, but the soft earth and likelihood of rain mean that this would imperil the buildings rather shaky foundations. Instead an additional line of railings has been introduced.

  HENRY DISPLAYS THE CROWN JEWELS, IN A PAINTING AFTER HANS HOLBEIN. BEFORE THIS DEPICTION, STANDING WITH LEGS APART WAS CONSIDERED IMPOLITE.

  In the very centre of the field are the cloth-draped wooden walls that make up THE TILT. Only introduced into jousting in the late fifteenth century, this allows much greater control and precision on their part of the knights, leading to fewer injuries. A second set of railings on either side of the tilt help to keep the horse running straight.

  Around noon, the two queens – CLAUDE AND CATHERINE – will make their entrance, swiftly followed by Henry and Francis leading their teams of TENANS – the issuers of the chivalric challenge on which the tournament is based. They will be followed by two teams of VENANS or challengers led by DUC D’ALENCON and ADMIRAL BONNIVET. There will then follow a great deal of presentation, ceremony, doffing of lances and bowing. Finally THE JOUSTS will begin.

  TUESDAY 13 TO SATURDAY 17 JUNE: RAINY DAYS AND WRESTLING

  The next five days of the tournament are going to be interrupted by squalls and sometimes heavy summer rain showers. TUESDAY 13TH will be rained off altogether and the field will become so sodden that the organisers will have to remove the counter-lists from the tilt; this will lead to much poor-quality jousting as riders are unable to keep their charges consistently close to the centre. WEDNESDAY 14TH will be equally dismal, but enlivened in the afternoon by a large WRESTLING COMPETITION in the mud between English guards and Breton wrestlers, as well as an ENGLISH ARCHERY DISPLAY.